Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
