I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
