when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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