I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
