Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
