I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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