Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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