"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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