thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
