home. puking in laundry basket.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
