I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
