My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
