so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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