I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
