I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
