Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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