i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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