oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
