I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
