Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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