Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
