So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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