and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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