I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
