they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
