The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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