Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
