i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
