And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
