i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
