so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
