I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
