the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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