Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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