I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
