honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
