You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
God, I missed his penis.
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