2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize