i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
