i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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