honey bunches of taint.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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