The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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