So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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