Moan for me like Helen Keller
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
