Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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