my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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