WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize