It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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