OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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