why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
