ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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