She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't EVER smell your tampon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
