just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
