I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
