I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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