Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize