Don't make out with my wife yet
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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