I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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