You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
