i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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