He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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