My cat gives me a boner
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
