First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
