i just google imaged poop.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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