I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
