I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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