hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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