just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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