worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
